Author Archives: Hayley Campbell

The Art of Neil Gaiman is out in the USA

My book is out today in America (UK, elsewhere: you’ll get it in July). It’s called The Art of Neil Gaiman and it’s about Neil Gaiman and all the stuff he’s done. I interviewed him for a week in Scotland. … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized

The Return

The first time I went to Bath I took with me the craziest fart disease I have ever had. We laid the blame on an M&S Aberdeen beef sandwich I ate on the Paddington Station platform and I spent most … Continue reading

Posted in Essays

How Not To Die On a Bike in London

Here is a piece I wrote for the New Statesman‘s transport-themed week, A to B. Ever since I wrote it I feel like I’ve jinxed myself. I put my helmet on in the morning and I wonder if it’s a … Continue reading

Posted in New Statesman

I Blame Myselves

I’m not gonna lie to you here: I am a person on the Internet, and unless you’re trying to fool future employers or put your dick in something you’re not supposed to I see no reason to lie on Internet. … Continue reading

Posted in Essays

The Almost Literal Elephant In The Room

I am a tall lady. Absolutely massive. When I was wee and my Mum read me Bill Peet’s Huge Harold she would point at the rabbit who grew so enormous he had to leave town and sleep in a barn, … Continue reading

Posted in Essays

Open Letter To Hot English People

If you are somewhere that is not England right now, perhaps in an igloo or a submarine or even another country, then you are likely to be unaware that London and its surrounding area (“England”) is in the sweaty death-grip … Continue reading

Posted in Essays

Eat Your Makeup

People often ask me what I do to my eyebrows in a (if you’re my Dad) “what have you done to your eyebrows” way, or a “so tell me how you do your amazing eyebrows” way if I am drunk … Continue reading

Posted in Essays

Romantic Misadventure

[Here is a thing I read to a room full of drunk people in London. It is about: the Internet.] So I’ve been to a whole bunch of these Romantic Misadventure nights and what I’ve discovered is everyone’s had more … Continue reading

Posted in Essays

Is This Too Soon? Probably.

In these post-Yewtree days I like to think I’m not the only one taking stock of my childhood and the moments in which it is entirely possible I could have been bummed but wasn’t. Is this too soon? Am I … Continue reading

Posted in Essays

Every Day I Am Coming

I am still a regular, sweaty face at the gym and it is now June. This means I have reached and breached the point of New Years resolution dissolution; I am still lifting things up, still putting them down, still doing ridiculous … Continue reading

Posted in Essays, Ridiculous